Shed that Shit

Shed that Shit

Oct. 23, 2022

I’m feeling a lot of anxiety about my art show because I’m doing my best but what if no one likes my art? I’m struggling to believe in myself on a day when my heart feels so low.

Open your heart, I say to myself.

Open your heart to open their minds.

I’m focusing on delivering my message of love to the world, but I admit it’s difficult when I’m so sad that my heart stays shuttered. My biggest struggle is school, trying to fit my mind and body into a crumbling system that was never designed for a kid like me.

Dark, heavy, gritty energy consumes me when I enter the school… so much pain exists in a small, sad location and I try every day to claw my way through the misery that’s as thick as the ocean.

The truth is that I read people’s energy and it’s instantly apparent to me if a person sees me or not. I mean if they see the true energy of my being and the essence of my heart. I’m here on a mission to show humanity that life is about more than achievement, it’s about love and connection with self and connection with others. My heart knows this beautiful truth, but my brain still struggles to realize it in a way that allows me to move easily through this time of my life.

Good energy takes less effort than dark energy, yet people are very stuck in the dark energy on earth right now. It’s painful for the collective and as a result empaths like me dance between open heart and closing our hearts to protect ourselves.

Just please look in your heart and try to find more light than dark. That is the way forward. Art is the way forward. It’s heart wrenching if you can’t

express your love through creativity. Absolutely take your love and show it in whatever form you choose. It’s the reason we are here.

Perhaps you don’t believe it’s really me typing this message. Having faith is sometimes the only way I can move through tough times and sad feelings that overcome me. Have you ever felt this way? The struggle is real, as they say. Can a sad kid like me rise up through his pain to take the road of faith? I’m sure trying.

In this piece I’m showing what school feels like for me. I’m desperately trying to shed the darkness that surrounds me at school. Another kid might experience school as a place of sanctuary, I can recognize this. For me, school is a dark dungeon of energy that feels like it actually might extinguish my light. It chokes me and pushes me down under a wave of frustration and pain. I scrape my body on the sharp jagged rocks of systemic failure and scream SEE ME! I’M RIGHT HERE! OPEN YOUR HEART! OPEN YOUR MIND!

Some days I drown in the pain because I’m too overwhelmed to rage against it. Some days I fight tooth and nail to push the pain down and raise my face up to scream for help. HELP ME! I’m an open mind in a disabled body which causes me so much frustration. I know I must accept my life as I agreed to this contract but the struggle ensues.

Damn acceptance can be hard.

My brightest love exists in a palace of love in my heart but most days at school I just can’t get there through the heavy shit that dims my light. It’s time to shed that shit and gather my energy for the next step forward.

Honour your light.

Let that shit go.

About the artist

Gavin Byrne

In His Words

My name is Gavin and I am an artist! I live with a physical disability and Autism. I’m also non speaking. When I meet people, I know exactly what they believe about me. I can read their energy. Sadly, because I can’t speak, many people assume I don’t understand. I admit that being misunderstood and overlooked in a lot of situations wears on my soul. There is nothing as powerful as being seen and accepted just for being yourself! I sometimes feel like I don’t belong in this world, and letting myself feel free to create art has allowed me to work through a lot of difficult feelings about being disabled.

In 2021 I made my first piece of resin art with my mentor Tannis and I discovered that I can suspend my energy in my creations. I felt so excited to have discovered a way to share what I want to say with others. It felt like purpose entered my life. I was struggling in a school system that wasn’t designed for me and I felt very lost before I came to experience this type of art. I love that art can say so much without an actual voice... just like me. I encourage everyone to view all art with an open heart. Art carries a message and if you drop into your heart you will feel it.

Gavin's Process

I’m limited in my movements so I work as part of a team. I choose all the colours and materials and direct the creative flow. When I pour resin I need someone to help me grasp the cup while I move my arm. I’m working on independent pouring but I still need more control. I type on my iPad to give direction and make creative decisions. I currently need a communication partner to help facilitate my typing until my brain body connection becomes strong enough to type on my own. My mom is my facilitator and she also does little tasks like mixing and spreading resin when I need help. Tannis helps me understand how resin moves and teaches me about art and spirit. If I need a steady hand to complete a fine motor task, I describe it and they assist me. I try to use my body’s corporeal energy as much as I am physically able to, but I can safety say I can always put my full spiritual energy into each piece. I’m trying to accept my limitations in this life but I admit it can be hard some days. Creative flow lets me come back to my joy. I’m grateful to this team for giving me this outlet to express myself.

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